Not Your Average Joes
by Gork and Mork
Summary: An attempt at changing the conventions of OC stories. There are two vigilantes in Jump City. Watch as they cope with being new Titans when, frankly, they'd rater not. Chapter two is now up.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: We do not own Teen Titans. This is going to be the only time any of us writes this, as it is a pain in neck.

(A/N) Alright people, this is Mork, bringing you the first chapter of this colab fic. This idea was spawned from my frustration at most OC stories and many other fanfics in general. We're trying to break the mold here. Those conventions that you see in other OC stories aren't going to be in this.

Also, I have to give thanks to the guys Lord Belgarion and Post for the idea for the format of this story. If either of you are reading this, than don't worry. We aren't going to rip your plot, just your alternating chapters idea.

**Not Your Average Joes**

**Chapter One:**

**Downtown**

**Cops, Criminals, and Crazies**

**The Odd Couple**

Commissioner Darwin wasn't normally an angry man. While his name gave the impression that he was a rough-and-tumble, survival-of-the-fittest kind of guy, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

There was one word that could describe him quite well. Round. Not in the sense that he was fat, but in the sense that he didn't have an angular facet on his figure. From his bald head, to his boyish features, to his slowly expanding gut, the general consensus was that he looked like he was designed by the folks who baby-proof houses.

Normally, problems just seemed to bounce off of him. On a regular day, Darwin could walk through a burning warehouse, be ambushed by a nuclear-powered monster, kidnapped by a costumed super villain, escape, and then face down a legion of obnoxious reporters, dead-set on pinning any collateral damage on him, without breaking a sweat. He could even say the previous sentence without taking a second breath.

But right now, he was smack-dab in the middle of gang-war, with bullets whizzing over his head, and he was pissed.

And not just because the 53rd Street Bloody Knuckles, and Pine Grove Ax Heads decided that life just wasn't worth living if, heaven forbid, they had to interact with each other like decent human beings.

No. This was because there were a couple vigilantes, one of which was super-powered and the other wasn't, but was kicking ass all the same, decided that they would take care of things.

"I need backup! Send in the Special Forces units. This is turning into a fiasco down here!" the Commissioner yelled into his squad car radio, while using that very same squad car to block the hot lead that was flying in his direction.

"Yes, I did say the Special Forces units, you prick! You know, those guys with the fancy laser guns that the city blew nearly its entire budget on? The ones that I have full authority to call in whenever I goddamn think its necessary? Those guys!"

With that, he angrily chucked the receiver back into the vehicle and took a few potshots at 7ft tall brute with a face full of tattoos and an Uzi. After his third shot clipped the ganger's knee (the previous two took him square in the chest, but he didn't plan on mentioning that in the paperwork) he realized he had one last thing he wanted to say.

He fished the receiver back out of the car and added, "Oh yeah, and make sure the Titans get down here. I'm sure they'll love to get a piece of this."

Meanwhile, in Titan's Tower, things were normal enough. The past two years since the incident in Tokyo had gone by pretty routinely.

Cyborg and Beast Boy still fought over video games and breakfast foods, yet still remained best buds. Raven was as addicted to tea and as moody as she ever has been. There was still plenty of that good, old-fashioned teenaged trouble, room mate annoyance, and the ever-present threat of an apocalyptic cataclysm that could happen any second but probably wouldn't.

Probably.

The only thing that was slightly new around the Tower, was that Robin was turning 18 soon and he and Starfire had decided they would take there relationship to the next level. Which the rest of the team assumed would basically consist of them going at it with marginally more restraint than the last man and woman on Earth tasked with the job of repopulation. A job of little usefulness, but was damn-sure enjoyable.

You're probably thinking right now, "What? Repopulating the planets seems to be a very important job to me!" You would be wrong. Just wonder, what would the kids than do? All of the people around them are one of their siblings, so there is no chance of further generations cropping up. Unless you want to go into the realm of the creepy. And you really, really don't.

Anyways, back to Titan's Tower.

"Booyah! Take that, you little grass stain!"

"No fair, dude! You stole that rocket boost from right under my nose!"

"Well I didn't see your name one it!"

"That doesn't matter, dude. You have clearly breached the gentleman's code of video gaming. I demand a rematch!"

"Pssshh. You know you're just going to lose again."

"Yeah, that's what I said to your mom last night."

"Meat!"

"Tofu!"

It was right then that Beast Boy and Cyborg collapsed on the couch laughing, and when Raven stopped reading long enough to roll her eyes at the blissful stupidity of her opposite gender.

Just another average day amongst a group of super-powered teens. Than the Tower's crime alarm sounded, and it was still an average day, for they were _super-powered_ teens.

The gamers fell silent immediately, and Robin and Starfire ran in from one of their alleged "training" sessions.

"I've picked up a radio signal that says that the Jump City PD have mobilized their Special Forces Unit," Cyborg said while reading his arm-screen.

"And I've just received a request from Commissioner Darwin. He wants us to come down to 53rd Street. Local gangs have apparently started up quite the brawl. Plus there is alleged super power activity," Robin reported with his fingers blurring across the keyboard. "Titans, Go!"

And so, the Titans did. But not before Starfire made an observation.

"I believe that the Commissioner like to 'take care of the business' on his own. It would take something of magnitude for him to ask for our help.

You gits must be daft to have gone an' mucked up MY SHOP!" shouted a leather-clad teen with a heavy Irish accent as he pounded the face of Ax Head ganger with a lead pipe.

He looked every bit the stereotypical Irish-American. Red hair, unkempt clothes, and looking like he hadn't shaved in a week. Unfortunately for him, that made him an easy target to pick out of a crowd. The fact that he was screaming at the top of his lungs didn't help his case much either.

His screaming stopped when he noticed three different goons all pointing Glocks in his direction. It was replaced with a resigned, "Oh, bollocks."

Luckily, the other half of this vigilante duo found the time to help out his buddy. Unfortunately, this "help" consisted mostly of unceremoniously pushing the Irishman behind the run-down chassis of an old Honda. And that Honda happened to be on fire.

The second vigilante looked like someone had crafted a life-size replica of the human body from putty, but than couldn't be bothered to add any details. He had no facial features, no muscle definition, nor even any bone structure. This was all accentuated by the fact he didn't wear any clothes. And before you ask, no, he didn't have anything "down there", if you know what I mean.

Why is person referred to as a he, when he had none of the distinguishing features of the masculine gender? Because, as he will eventually note, being called a he is better than being called an it.

This amorphous figure demonstrated his superpower and swung his arm in a wide arc. It stretched out and lashed all three thugs to the ground. Super-stretching doesn't normally look like an appealing power, but when one knows how to use it, it can pack a punch.

When that was done with, the featureless being walked up to his friend, who was thankfully not on fire. Walked perhaps isn't the best term to use. Without actual muscles or bones to walk with, he seemed to warp and slither his body forward.

"Are you dead yet, Murphy?" he asked the prone figure.

"You're a bloody wanker, Grey. You just nearly pushed me into a bloomin' inferno." He grunted in response.

"It was either fire or bullets. I figured you were tough enough manage a bit of fire. If you faced the bullets, I wouldn't have asked you if you were dead, because I would have noticed the blood spray and figured it out myself."

"Just shut your face and help me up."

As Grey reached down to give Murphy a hand, only with the intention to snatch it away again because he's a jerk, the Special Forces arrived.

Great, black hovercrafts loomed overhead, and faceless soldiers wearing full-body armor rappelled down from them. The noise coming from the whirring fans of the vehicles was only matched by their speaker systems, which projected voices ordering criminals to put down their weapons and surrender themselves.

The gangers, however, weren't very motivated to comply. It's easy to get stubborn when you have an arsenal on your side, and between the two gangs, there was an arsenal and a half. Guns ranging from pistols to assault rifles aimed up and fired, but this wasn't your everyday police that they were firing at. This was the Special Forces.

Jump City had personally petitioned the division of WayneCorp they were host to for a loan. WayneCorp did one better. With authorization from Bruce Wayne himself, the Technology Department made Jump City the test subject for an advanced peace keeping force. If successful, these units would be deployed to all cities with documented cases of super powered beings.

Bullets rang off the hulls of the hovercraft and the body armor of the soldiers alike. Between the two gangs, they had been able to inflict a grand total of zero casualties amongst the Special Forces. Sure these criminals weren't the best trained, and thus had lousy aim, but even still. Zero casualties is quite something. Whether that something was good or bad depends on if you're on the shooting or receiving end.

And then they fired back. It was a one-sided fight. High-power, rapid-fire laser weaponry rained down on the gangers' heads, supported by the standard armaments of the remaining police officers. If it was their goal, they could have killed everyone on that street in seconds flat. Instead, they relied on the fear effect the lasers had, and sent the gangers running home to safety.

Once it was all said and done, no one would escape. The hovercrafts were equipped with sophisticated face-recognition technology. Soon enough, every marked criminal would have a comprehensive search done on them. They would be caught. It was only a matter of time.

"Well look at that." Murphy remarked as he watched the spectacle.

"No eyes, remember?" Grey remarked while pointing to his face where his eyes should be.

"Don't try and guilt me boy. I know you can feel vibrations through the air and ground or something. I don't quite understand the mechanics to it, but you know what I'm talking bout."

"Well that wouldn't be seeing than, would it?"

Murphy wound himself up to continue this pointless little argument, as they always did when this particular subject came up, but several Special Units agents rappelled down around them.

"Put your hands on your head and get down on the ground!" one of the agents ordered as the squad aimed their weapons.

"Whoa there, fellas," Murphy said to them, "We're on your side. I'm sure those officers over their will vouch for the half a dozen guys I put down myself."

"Are these guys doing what I think they're doing?" asked Grey to no one in particular.

"Oh no. Don't you start that. I know you got a thing with authority figures, but God Almighty. These guys are armed with LASER GUNS! Maybe you could pull off what you're thinking of pulling off if these guys had your run-of-the-mill guns, but they don't. So don't do it."

"Are you going to come along quietly or not?" questioned one of the troopers.

"Just never mind about it now, Pete. Look who's arrived," another pointed out to the rest.

Over in the distance, close to where to cordon of squad cars were parked, there was the screech of rubber and the whoosh of super-powered flight.

The Titans were here.


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N) And now, for the second chapter. This is where things start to get a little bit different.

**Not Your Average Joes**

**Chapter 2:**

**A Change of Pace**

**Rules From on High**

**The Draft**

The Titans milled around uncomfortably by the assorted cop cars. They weren't accustomed to receiving an alert and yet having the situation already dealt with by the time they arrived. It's quite understandable, really. How many times does a firefighter arrive to see that people actually rescued that damn cat from a tree themselves?

"Commissioner," Robin started, "was this call really necessary? You seem to have things under control, and our time is a valuable thing."

"Chill your bones, Boy Scout," Darwin sighed as wiped sweat from his brow, "I've had a bit of a rough day, and getting scolded by teenager isn't very high on my list of things to do, at the moment."

Robin ground his teeth at the mild insult, but he was the only one to take offense. There was some laughter of agreement from the assembled officers and some stifled chuckles from the greenest of Titans, as well as from the one made of metal. Of course, this caused some more teeth grinding. Luckily for Robin, the Titans had free dental insurance.

"What is high on my list of things to do is to tell you exactly the reason I called you down here. You see those two guys over there?" the commissioner explained as he pointed to a couple of sitting figures with their backs against a police cruiser. "Well, those guys are vigilantes. The freaky looking one has powers; the other doesn't as far as we can tell. He does have a mean punch though. I think you can figure out what I want you to do from here."

"Ah. We're here because you don't have the manpower to control them if they put up a fight," Cyborg stated bluntly.

Now it was Darwin's turn to grit his teeth. "It's not that we couldn't handle it if we wanted to. I just figure that, seeing as the city pays up for your room and board, and that that you have super-powers, that you all should be the ones saddled with taking care of metahumans."

"Why thank you Commissioner. Without your little speech, we would have just lounged about all day. Your motivational skills are astounding," commented Raven in her usual sarcastic monotone.

"Miss, in all the years we've been acquainted, I think I've yet to hear a word come out of your mouth that wasn't dripping with sarcasm."

"That's our Raven!" declared Beast Boy with a thumbs-up and a goofy grin. She, of course, responded to that with her typical smack to the head. The obvious aggravation on her face gave way to determination, and she marched in the direction of the vigilantes.

"Uh, Raven? What are you doing?" the Titans' resident android asked.

"I'm going over there, asking those guys if they want to be honorary Titans like everyone wants to be recently, and getting this situation over with."

"You seem to be forgetting something," the Boy Wonder chimed in, "_I'm the team leader! I decide these things!_"

"If you don't like them, than you can send them off from the comfort of the Tower, where there aren't a bunch of creeps staring at me because I'm wearing a skin-tight leotard."

"She does have a point, Robin." Starfire said quietly at his side, "I too have been receiving unwanted attention."

Indeed she was right. It was an unsaid, yet widely acknowledged practice amongst the men of Jump City to anticipate the day the Titan females turned 18. The day was closing fast, and guys everywhere were relishing that they could soon discuss Raven and Starfire's more feminine attributes without feeling like a bunch of pedophiles.

Such is life for super heroines, as they all seemed to wear, on average, as much clothing as the models in a Victoria's Secret lingerie catalog. Case in point, when Murphy noticed the gothic empath's approach, he stood up, straitened out his clothes as best he could, and assumed a bit too friendly of a manner.

"Well, hello there. I'm Murphy. My odd looking friend here is Gray. It's wonderful to make your acquaintance." he said, offering his hand for a handshake. After a moment of hesitation, she accepted his offer. The red-headed teen took this opportunity to do something he thought was very gentlemanly. Kiss the back of her hand.

It was a very stupid thing to do.

Raven pulled her hand back as though it was bitten by a poisonous snake, and with a flick of her magic, slammed the presumptuous Irish-American back into his sitting position against the car. It hurt like a bugger.

"The next time you even think of doing something so stupid, remember that I went easy on you today. If I wanted to, I could turn you inside-out with just a thought."

Murphy nodded his head. He got the message loud and clear. His friend beside him got the message too, and he thought it was incredibly funny. Through his laughter, he managed to choke out, "That'll teach you keep your eyes inside of your head."

"Maybe if you had any eyes, than you would have to learn to keep them inside of your head, too!"

That statement puzzled Raven for a second, until she actually looked at Gray. She had looked at him already, but she hadn't really _looked _at him, as she was distracted by the clumsy advances of the leather-bound guy she just tested her powers out on. The still sitting figure reminded her of one of those mannequins in a tailor shop, the ones without any facial features. Except that he was, you know, alive. Then, the thought hit her. How did he manage to laugh and speak without a mouth?

"How did you-" she began but was cut off.

"I don't share my secrets with people I don't know."

"Fine, whatever. I'm here to extend to you the status Honorary Titan for your service today."

"No thanks." the two of them said simultaneously.

"Excuse me?"

"We said no thanks." Gray clarified.

Raven just stood there and stared for a moment. No thanks? No one ever says 'no thanks'. In fact, people were so desperate to become a Titan that ordinary people would make up powers and attempt to join. People would train nonstop of a year in the hope they would be accepted. People were so desperate to be a Titan that an entire fan fiction community sprouted up around the principle of fantasizing about having superpowers and being a Titan.

"You see," started Murphy in an attempt to break the momentary silence, "the only reason the two of us got involved in this fight is because one of those buggers smashed a window to my home a few streets back."

"That's the only reason? You were angry about some property damage, so you beat a bunch of people into unconsciousness?" Raven asked incredulously.

"It's more than that!" Murphy defended himself, "The both of us, that's me and Gray here, live in there. And it's not really an apartment. It's more of a garage. There's only two rooms, one of which is the kitchen/bathroom, and the other is where I keep my bike, and the both of us sleep in it. Not together, mind you. On opposite sides with my bike between us. We've only got one window, and neither of us got the money to fix it. So we were pissed."

Raven wasn't really listening to Murphy's rambling explanation. She was dreading the bureaucratic nightmare this was bound to become if these two didn't accept the invitation. Not only would Commissioner Darwin be furious, but the mayor would have a fit knowing that there were even more metahumans in the city and that he couldn't gauge what they would do. And of course, the Justice League would get involved.

Ever since the incident with the Brotherhood of Evil, they had become far more concerned with knowing the location and affiliation of all potential threats to 'domestic wellbeing', as they put it.

"Easy for them to get involved now." she thought, "We did all the work while they were out is space chasing Darkseid or Brainiac or someone."

This was a bit unfair of Raven's part. During the Brotherhood of Evil's plot, the Justice league was helping defend the universe that could have destroyed Earth ten times over if it ever got here.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." she said, interrupting Murphy's rant about the events that had gone on during this gang war. As the witch walked back toward the Titans, Murphy muttered, "Well, isn't she a peach."

"Heh. A minute ago you seemed ready to make out with her at a moment's notice." Gray mocked.

"She is pretty hot. I kinda wish she didn't wear that cloak so that I could enjoy the sight of her walking away."

"You're such a goddamn pervert."

"It's a natural thing. If you were a bit more human, you'd feel the same way."

"This is one of the rare cases I'm glad that I'm not human. I can't see how you get anything done with that incessant biological imperative to breed."

And thus, the two of them began to argue once more, as was normal for them. Meanwhile, Raven had returned to the rest of the Titans and had explained the situation. They were just as surprised as she was.

"I haven't even met them yet, and those two are already giving me a headache." Robin stated while rubbing his temples. "This is not good. I don't want the Justice League interfering with our work anymore. They've already started stepping on my toes with approving those Special Forces units; I'm not giving them the opportunity to do anything else."

"What can you do about? Seems like those guys have made up their minds already." Beast Boy said.

"If we're going to have to suffer, than they'll suffer twice as much. I'm going to deliver an ultimatum. Come on." said the Boy Wonder.

With that, the team walked over to the spot where the two vigilantes were still arguing. Unfortunately for Murphy, he was arguing the merits of the female figure to Gray. Not a conversation one would like have others walk in on.

"How can you even call yourself a guy if you can't find beauty in a lass's body!? The shapes, and curves, and the Titans are standing right behind me aren't they?

"Yep."

"And you didn't bother to shut me up for my own good, eh?"

"Nope."

"You're such an ass, Gray."

"That's what you keep on telling me."

Murphy turned around to face the others with an annoyed expression on his face. "Can I help you? I thought we made our opinion pretty bloody clear."

"Look," Robin began to explain, "I don't think you understand the situation fully."

"It seems pretty simple to me. You offered us the chance to be heroes, and we declined."

"Yes, but there are extenuating circumstances."

"Oh? And what would those be?"

"For a year or so now, the Justice League has been passing litigation regarding all of superhuman kind. There are new rules in place to ensure to safety of ordinary people. There can no longer be two groups of heroes/vigilantes in the same city that aren't somehow affiliated with a larger organization, nor can there be metahumans in a populated area who have not stated their intentions on how to use their abilities."

"That's a lot of legal jargon, mate, and I'm not sure if I fully caught your drift."

"I'll put it simply than. You join us and continue to make the rest of your decisions for your self. The alternative is that the Justice league comes down here and makes decisions for you for the rest of your lives."

"You'd really sic those guys on us?" Murphy asked and than looked over to Gray, "I think we need a moment to discuss this."

Murphy and Gray stepped a few yards away and began to balance the pros and cons.

"I hate having other people get the better of me," Gray explained, "bur free food, water, cable, electricity, and rooms, plus the fact we won't have a legion of supercops is spandex breathing down our necks sounds pretty good. Even if we've got to stick our necks out for other people every once in a while."

"Than it's settled," Murphy stated as they walked back to the Titans.

"You win. We'll join." he said to Robin.

"All right!" Cyborg practically bellowed, "Go grab your stuff guys! This is the first day of your new life!"

"Yipee." Gray said with enough sarcasm to match Raven.


End file.
